I have been listening to the audio book "Option B" by Sheryl Sandberg. One of the chapters (eek... chapter six I think) is about finding joy after a tragedy. I thought this passage was pretty powerful and I wanted to share:
"When we look for joy, we often focus on the big moments. Graduating from school. Getting a job. Having a child. Getting reunited with family. But happiness is the frequency of positive experiences, not the intensity."
What a concept!
I have always been about intensity. Historically, I would waste my days planning the next big moment. I would spend my vacations planning my next vacation. I believed that I would finally be truly happy when I got out of debt, when I got married, when I had kids, when I bought a house, or when I traveled the world. WHEN. There was always a when. Never a now. Was I consistently happy? Nope.
Nate (my Neuro Psychologist) is a huge fan of Eckhart Tolle who said that "people don't realize that now is all there is: there is no past or future except as memory or anticipation in your mind." Smart guy.
Sooo what have we learnt here folks? We need to be present and have frequent positive experiences. Got it? Sandberg said it much better (I mean she is a writer): "Rather than waiting until we are happy to do the small things, we should go and do the small things that make us happy."
Do you trust me? Actually don't answer that. I have a mild traumatic brain injury and I don't even trust me. The point that I'm failing to make is that this stuff really works.
Take today for example. One of my closest friends and I took her dog for a walk. The fresh air and the light exercise alleviated some of my physical pain and the conversation left me feeling lighter. It was a really nice day. I just feel so fortunate to be surrounded by so many people - friends and family - that I can count on. That's joy.
Tim Urban said (and I absolutely love this) that "happiness is the joy you find on hundreds of forgettable Wednesdays.”
What did you do today?
"When we look for joy, we often focus on the big moments. Graduating from school. Getting a job. Having a child. Getting reunited with family. But happiness is the frequency of positive experiences, not the intensity."
What a concept!
I have always been about intensity. Historically, I would waste my days planning the next big moment. I would spend my vacations planning my next vacation. I believed that I would finally be truly happy when I got out of debt, when I got married, when I had kids, when I bought a house, or when I traveled the world. WHEN. There was always a when. Never a now. Was I consistently happy? Nope.
Nate (my Neuro Psychologist) is a huge fan of Eckhart Tolle who said that "people don't realize that now is all there is: there is no past or future except as memory or anticipation in your mind." Smart guy.
Sooo what have we learnt here folks? We need to be present and have frequent positive experiences. Got it? Sandberg said it much better (I mean she is a writer): "Rather than waiting until we are happy to do the small things, we should go and do the small things that make us happy."
Do you trust me? Actually don't answer that. I have a mild traumatic brain injury and I don't even trust me. The point that I'm failing to make is that this stuff really works.
Take today for example. One of my closest friends and I took her dog for a walk. The fresh air and the light exercise alleviated some of my physical pain and the conversation left me feeling lighter. It was a really nice day. I just feel so fortunate to be surrounded by so many people - friends and family - that I can count on. That's joy.
Tim Urban said (and I absolutely love this) that "happiness is the joy you find on hundreds of forgettable Wednesdays.”
What did you do today?
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