Can it still be the most wonderful time of year?

Hi all,

I wrote another blog post for the Brain Energy Support Team and thought I’d share it with all of you (‘tis the season for sharing after all)....

I was listening to the radio the other day and The Most Wonderful Time of Year began to play. You know the one…

 It’s the most wonderful time of the year

With the kids jingle belling

And everyone telling you “Be of good cheer”

 It’s the most wonderful time of the year 

It’s the hap-happiest season of all

With those holiday greetings

and gay happy meetings 

When friends come to call 

It’s the hap- happiest season of all

There’ll be parties for hosting

Marshmallows for toasting

And caroling out in the snow 

There’ll be scary ghost stories 

And tales of the glories of Christmases long, long ago

It’s the most wonderful time of the year….

While humming along to this Christmas classic, an upsetting thought passed through my mind: 

Is it actually the most wonderful time of year?

Before sustaining my concussion in early 2017, I loved everything about the holidays: the decorations, Christmas trees and twinkling lights, the eggnog and mulled wine, the family gatherings and traditions, the snow, the carols, the craft fairs and markets, Santa Claus, gift giving, and (insert anything and everything you can think of related to the holiday season). 

Since my injury, however, when I think of December, I find myself wishing for more silent nights and less rockin’ around the Christmas tree. The bright lights, loud music and large gatherings can be so overwhelming, exhausting and painful for someone with a brain injury.  Now, instead of looking at my holiday schedule with glee and excitement, all I see is a lot of can’t do’s and stressful situations. 

It is daunting. 

By the end of the song, I was close to tears and feeling blue, so I took a few deep breaths and gave myself a stern talking to: Kirsten – you’re being awfully negative right now.  Can you take off your self-pity pants and put on some positivity?  Why are you so fixated on your weaknesses? And what you can’t do? What would happen if you focused on your strengths and the things you enjoy doing instead? 

Good questions, right? I turned to the Google for answers (shh… I know that you do this, too) and stumbled upon the field of positive psychology.  

Positive psychology, as defined on the Positive Psychology Program website, is a scientific approach to studying human thoughts, feelings, and behavior with a focus on strengths instead of weakness, building the good in life instead of repairing the bad, and taking the lives of average people up to ‘great’ instead of focusing solely on moving those who are struggling up to ‘normal.

Under positive psychology, it is believed that each of us possesses 24 core strengths (they are listed in the image below). Each person, however, has a different ranking of these traits from 1 to 24, with 1 being our best strength and 24 being our weakest. This ranking is called our character strength profile.

I know what you’re thinking: this is cool (do people still say cool?),  but why do I need to know about my strengths and what order they are in?

Great question!

As reported on the VIA Character Strength website, when skillfully applied, character strengths can actually have a significant positive impact on your life. Studies show that frequently using your best (i.e. your top four) strengths increases engagement, happiness and well-being.

I wasn’t entirely convinced until I stumbled upon a study that examined the correlation between positive psychology and the health of patients with traumatic brain injury (TBI). The researches found that TBI survivors who used positive psychology in their therapy were found to have "better perceived outcomes, potentially fewer comorbidities*, such as anxiety and depression, and better use of resources" compared to their peers who did not have positive psychological interventions. Sounds promising, right?

I figured out my character strength profile by taking a quick, easy and free online assessment (click here). Based on the results, gratitude was my top quality. Since taking the test, I have been flexing this strength regularly -- just like a muscle -- by setting aside time every day to savor a pleasant experience that I’ve had. I have also been more mindful of things that I take for granted and I try to tell at least one person each day a reason why I am thankful for them.

The results? Overall, I feel a lot better.   

I have even more good news. According to Dr Ryan Niemiec, humans have other strengths in addition to character strengths, such as talents (what you do well), interests (what you enjoy doing), resources (your external supports), and skills (developed through training). My bet is that regularly using a mix of all of these would create even more positive results (YAY!). Tim Ferriss, a bestselling author, entrepreneur and public speaker, would agree with me. He has been quoted saying that, it is far more lucrative and fun to leverage your strengths instead of attempting to fix all the chinks in your armor. The choice is between multiplication of results using strengths or incremental improvement fixing weaknesses that will, at best, become mediocre. Focus on better use of your best weapons instead of constant repair.

And he’s a big deal, so it must be true.  

I know it would be naive for me to think that focusing on your character strengths, talents, skills, resources and interests will solve all your problems this holiday season.  I don’t even expect you to take the self-assessment quiz that I referenced above. I challenge you, however, to make time to do what you are BEST at. We work so hard all year improving our weak areas and rehabilitating our deficits that it's time for us to feel accomplished and happy. Maybe, like me, practicing gratitude each day will raise your spirits or perhaps you are an excellent baker and making cookies for your loved ones will bring you extra joy. Whatever it is, do it and make time for it. And maybe, just maybe, it can still be the most wonderful time of year and the hap-happiest season of all….

Let me know how it goes. 

Happy Holidays! 

– K
xoxo 




*Comorbidities: the simultaneous presence of two chronic diseases or conditions in a patient.