A painting of the Serenity Prayer was hanging in my home as a child. (It may have been at my grandmother's house. I'll have to ask my mom later and get back to you. Remind me.) My point: I must have read the following words a million times:
"God, grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change,
Courage to change the things I can,
And wisdom to know the difference."
But did I ever live by these words? Nope. In all honesty, my family is not very religious, so I never gave much thought to the prayer. It was just a nice piece of art.
How is this relevant to my concussion? Good question. Let me tell you about my last appointment with my neuro-psychologist. (We're going to call him Nate, Neuro-Psychologist Nate.) The conversation went like this:
Nate: "Good Morning! How has your week been?"
Me: "Well.... Not so good. I cried in a doctor's office."
Nate: "....." I looked at him and knew that this was when I was supposed to spill the beans:
"You know how my vision has been distorted since I hit my head? How I see "television static" all the time? (See Figure 1 for an illustration.) Well, I finally got an appointment with an opthamologist to see if there was anything that could be done to help. He told me that I have a condition called "visual snow" and that there is no known cure and no treatment options. It was devastating. I mean... I have gotten used to the spots in my visual field. It's just... I get debilitating migraines because of the the eye strain... How will I ever work again?" (I went on and on, so I'll spare you the details.)
After I was done telling Nate my concerns, we talked about control. He made me list all the things about my situation that I could control and all the things that I couldn't. We made a to-do list. "Work on the things you can change," he said. "Just let the rest go."
"Let them go?" I replied. "But.. How?" At that moment, I also started singing the lyrics to the movie "Frozen" in my head. You know the one: "Let it go! Let it go!" Concentration is difficult with post-concussion syndrome.
"Yes, Kirsten. Let them go. Don't waste your energy on things you can't change. Distract yourself by changing the things you can!"
And then it all made sense. "Ohhhhhh..." I thought to myself. "That's what that prayer was about! Ha! No wonder it was so popular."
I left the appointment with my to-do list in hand; feeling lighter, calmer. One could say more serene? A part of me also wondered if my mom (or grandmother) still had that painting.
Lesson of the day: The mind is so so so powerful. It's just like what Matthieu Ricard said“the basic root of happiness lies in our minds; outer circumstances are nothing more than adverse or favorable.”
Think about it.
"God, grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change,
Courage to change the things I can,
And wisdom to know the difference."
But did I ever live by these words? Nope. In all honesty, my family is not very religious, so I never gave much thought to the prayer. It was just a nice piece of art.
How is this relevant to my concussion? Good question. Let me tell you about my last appointment with my neuro-psychologist. (We're going to call him Nate, Neuro-Psychologist Nate.) The conversation went like this:
Nate: "Good Morning! How has your week been?"
Me: "Well.... Not so good. I cried in a doctor's office."
Nate: "....." I looked at him and knew that this was when I was supposed to spill the beans:
"You know how my vision has been distorted since I hit my head? How I see "television static" all the time? (See Figure 1 for an illustration.) Well, I finally got an appointment with an opthamologist to see if there was anything that could be done to help. He told me that I have a condition called "visual snow" and that there is no known cure and no treatment options. It was devastating. I mean... I have gotten used to the spots in my visual field. It's just... I get debilitating migraines because of the the eye strain... How will I ever work again?" (I went on and on, so I'll spare you the details.)
After I was done telling Nate my concerns, we talked about control. He made me list all the things about my situation that I could control and all the things that I couldn't. We made a to-do list. "Work on the things you can change," he said. "Just let the rest go."
"Let them go?" I replied. "But.. How?" At that moment, I also started singing the lyrics to the movie "Frozen" in my head. You know the one: "Let it go! Let it go!" Concentration is difficult with post-concussion syndrome.
"Yes, Kirsten. Let them go. Don't waste your energy on things you can't change. Distract yourself by changing the things you can!"
And then it all made sense. "Ohhhhhh..." I thought to myself. "That's what that prayer was about! Ha! No wonder it was so popular."
I left the appointment with my to-do list in hand; feeling lighter, calmer. One could say more serene? A part of me also wondered if my mom (or grandmother) still had that painting.
Lesson of the day: The mind is so so so powerful. It's just like what Matthieu Ricard said“the basic root of happiness lies in our minds; outer circumstances are nothing more than adverse or favorable.”
Think about it.
Figure 1: Visual Snow
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| source: https://imgur.com/gallery/UmpVp |
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